Parents at games

When parents want to talk to you in overly competitive terms, redirect the conversation to something more positive. Encourage parents to talk to you if they have questions or concerns. Parents are less likely to get upset with you if you make a point of communicating with them throughout the season. Avoid talking with angry parents in the heat of the moment. Please calm down. Method 3. Keep an eye on your own behavior. Watching a sports game is exciting, and it can be easy to get carried away and act like an obnoxious parent yourself.

Avoid criticizing players, arguing with officials, or telling your kid what to do on the field. Emphasize the importance of working hard and having fun. A parent who focuses too much on winning can suck the enjoyment out of sports for their child. Instead, encourage kids to improve their skills, do their best, and enjoy the challenge of the game. Cheer on the whole team. Cheering for the entire team emphasizes the importance of teamwork.

Acknowledge good plays by the other team. Respecting the opponent is an essential part of good sportsmanship. Encourage kids whose parents are overly competitive or critical. Cheer them on during the game, give them a high-five afterwards, or invite them to get ice cream with your child after the game.

Congratulate them on how hard they played, regardless of whether they won or lost. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. As parents on the sidelines, we want our children to do well and to do their best, but lines are crossed when parents begin yelling at the referee or umpire and screaming at the players.

It can be very uncomfortable for parents who do not take part in this behavior, and it is hard to know exactly how to handle these situations. One man took matters into his own hands in order to expose the ridiculousness of bad parent sideline behavior.

Brian Barlow, an Oklahoma youth soccer referee, decided to start sharing videos of this inappropriate parent behavior on a Facebook page called Offside. His plan was to start holding parents accountable for their behavior after seeing way too much of it as a referee.

Be sure to let an official know as they are trained to deal with these kinds of situations. An authority figure will have much more luck with confronting a person experiencing intense emotions than you will. Once your family is together and removed from the situation, do your best to make it a teachable moment. You can also empower your children by letting them know that if your own behavior ever feels too intense for them, they should let you know.

As always, actions speak louder than words. Coach Koran Godwin - www. Don Kelbick - www. Ronn Wyckoff - www. As a coach and a parent I can relate to things from both sides most times. Someone above from a parents perspective said something really freaking stupid: "No reason that almost all kids can't see enough action, if thought out ahead of time.

I don't mean the last 10 seconds of the half or game! That's an insult to any player,. If we're talking about a worthy kid that doesn't get playing time they deserve that's different. If we're talking about your kid sucks then take your kid out of sports if they can't handle the bench. Too many parents today think sports is art class. Sports keep score because beating the other team is the point.

Plain and simple. There's no socialism in sports. If you don't like your kids playing time, and that playing time is based on your kids lack of ability then get your lazy butt out in the yard with them and practice. It's not the coaches responsibility to play step daddy to every single mom that gets knocked up and can't find a step dad to get out in the yard and play catch with her son.

You are responsible for making sure your kid has the proper equipment. You are responsible for making sure your kid knows which hand the glove goes on. You are responsible for making sure your kid doesn't come to little league practice with a plastic glove out of one of those 10 dollar Easter baskets from Walmart.

Some people can't take any responsibility for their own predicaments. I've never seen a coach that didn't "show basic fundamentals". The problem is parents sit around on their cell phone, gossiping about other parents or other kids, drop their kid off and go to the hair salon, etc and don't bother to watch the drills the coach does with the kids.

Why should you watch the drills the coach does with the kids? So you can go your lazy butt home and do them with your kid. He's their coach, not their personal trainer. I've done all 3, parent, coach, personal train. Stop expecting the coach to do your parenting for you. For some reason everyone thinks their the damn monarchy of whatever they're involved in.

For example schools telling kids whether they can have social media accounts, what they can do on social media accounts, punishing kids for things that happen in their off time, etc.

Otherwise you might get it pushed in. I think alot of us Americans are sick and fired of the micro management from a bunch of administrative dumbasses that think they're life coaches.

Stick to doing things on the field, stay out of what goes on off the field. That's not your business. Also, it may be your athlete, but it's their kid. Making a kid practice who is dehydrated is not making them "tough". Toughness doesn't affect thirst, thirst is a negative feedback loop to let you know your body is dehydrated. Small town country bumpkin coaches always using the "get tougher" excuse for EVERY situation, not just the appropriate ones, has ruined many good athletes and or athletic careers.

Being a hard ass is not a substitute for coaching skill or basic knowledge of human physiology. There's too much stupid on both sides of the isle now days. Idiot coaches and idiot parents. Coaches that want to interfere in personal lives, coaches that want to force specialization 1 sport focus year round on kids as young as 8.

Coaches that don't know what they're doing so they just try to go overboard on the "if you don't die you made the team" because they don't know how to coach. Then of course there's the parents that think their kid shouldn't have to run because they don't like getting sweaty sports isn't for you then pumpkin , parents that think the coach is responsible for the kids lack of athleticism or practice at home, etc. Pure stupidity on both ends in too many instances these days.

You made a good point when you talked about how you can prevent a lot of problems by simply meeting with the parents before the season starts. My brother is wanting to coach a youth basketball program for his church, but he doesn't have much experience working with younger kids. I think it would be a good idea for him to find an online resource that offers tips on how to work with kids when coaching basketball.

Hello, I have a 9 year old son. Who has been getting attention from AAU, travel, and now a jr nba coaches. Recently at my sons game, one coach whom I agreed to let my son tryout with saw me speak to the coach of a different organization. Hard to say without hearing the context. Let him play and have fun. I think having a good coach that teaches fundamentals and character is most important thing. If you are concerned with a coach character, go somewhere else. Wish I read this before my 3rd season with this group of girls now in 7th grade travel basketball.

I am dealing with discouraged players and parents trying to clear obstacles out of their child's way, instead of preparing them for what bumps might be in the road ahead. We did start a b team this year for the first time and that seems to drive the parents nuts. I was warned that this age you start to see tension rising. I even made the girls promise last year that we wouldn't get to this point like the older girls did last season.

Yet here I am, yielding complaints about how all the plays go to this one girl on our team, and other parents telling me who tries hard and who gives up, and my daughter isn't having fun, she cries in the car after games because she doesn't feel part of the team. How do you salvage a season with tournaments left?

Take it one game and one practice at a time. There will be ups and downs. Try to build up the players confidence. Maybe ask why they are upset? Maybe there is miscommunication. Maybe explain it's ok to make mistakes I think you solve one problem at a time and do the best you can. If you have questions on specific problems let us know. Next season hopefully you can set expectations early on and avoid some of the issues. With that said there are some rules you can implement now: like no talking to coach about issues until 36 hours after game, etc.

Great website awesome advise and comments. My comment is Iv'e often wondered why coaches go to seminars and or consult with other coaches on game strategy but if a parent has a idea or strategy it is automatically excluded as a viable idea to take action on. I guess it's that same dynamic you find in a disfunctional businesses where the subordinate has a great idea but the company culture says John Lennon was right "There are no problems only solutions" It shouldn't matter where the solution comes from.

Hi, I am in the midst of a difficult season for my 10th grade daughter. She made varsity this year and has struggled through a season with a few minutes 7 games with no minutes. Maybe as a surprise, I am not mad about playing time. She is behind some college bound players and thought this was a great opp for her to learn.

I am angry though that the coaches have given 0 time developing or even verbally encourage her. After a recent practice, I met my daughter at school and when I saw her she broke down. In one of the last practices of the season the coach spent the entire practice yelling at her virtually no one else and chiding her when she struggled to make some end of practice free throws this was confirmed as teammates sent her texts after. She is good player, great student, known as the hardest worker and loves the game but the coaches are destroying her.

I did speak to the coach and asked for a meeting to understand what happened, explained she was emotionally wrecked and borderline on quitting. His response, "It's called coaching", and walked away. Next day at practice the staff never spoke to her once. Our AD loves the coach and unsure if going to the principal is the right move as I am afraid of retribution for her with other sports as this is a small private school.

Any perspective would be appreciated. MI Just curious how this ended for you guys. Is there a possibility we can update parent letter links that no longer work? This article was helpful but things have gotten out of hand. First I would like to say that I have coached softball for 3 three years and won 2 championships. Second, I am now coaching girls JH basketball. Each because my daughter plays.

At the beginning of the season I explained to those parents who asked, as well as to the girls, that I will focus on playing as a team because each girl is at a different level and they need to learn to work together. I also teach fundamentals in the process. I also told everybody involved that I am open to ideas or questions They can join a practice or watch.

A few parents used to coach Today I was given a letter stating that parents are complaining that I swear, I yell and I threaten these kids. Also that the girls are not learning anything. The parents did not follow the chain of command. I do not yell My girls thank me for that because other coaches do yell.

I do not swear. I am a coach with high regards on the softball field Does this sound like a coach who swears? Threatening the girls? Telling them they will run laps if they do not listen and are goofing around instead is not a threat but something all coaches do. If there are girls who feel they are not learning anything, then they are not listening when I talk or they think they are better than everybody else.

However each of the 10 girls have improved greatly! These other parents have coached these girls and never won. One parent has 2 girls on the team And this is the parent stirring the pot.

Her girls do not listen to me at all because they listen to her. Even at our games which honestly messes everything up. When 2 do not listen then the other girls become confused. Everything I am being accused of is so absurd!! How can people be so horrible? Why lie to cause problems? Coaching sports for my children has always been a dream and something I was good at. I feel it being crushed over nothing.

What can I do? That is very unfortunate, Coach B. I have a read a book called the Politics of Coaching by Carl Pierson that seems to have a lot of good advice. Maybe you should check it out. I am no expert in this regards, so I feel a little hesitant to give advice on the topic.

Personally, I would talk to the administration. Have the parents and administration attend your practices. Heck, have them video tape them if they're worried. But be very calm and almost giggle about how silly the letter is Tell them to video tape the practices if they want. That's why I recommend the book. That's part of the reason I stopped coaching teams the last couple of years and just focus on player development currently. It wasn't worth the headaches.

If a parent has influence, the negative talk can spread like a virus with frustrated parents. Groupthink is very common and critical thinking is not so common.

This can be frustrating. Most parents are great. But every coach will experience parents stirring the pot at some point. By complaining about the coach, only one thing can happen Nothing positive can come from it for your child or the team. We also tell parents there is NO coaching and yelling instruction from the sideline. Only positive cheering. Regarding this letter, is it signed by other parents? Who is it coming from? I would review this letter with the person s that wrote it. I would then go through it line by line Can you tell my why you think I have done this?

If it's truly a lie and this parent is getting everyone against you based on lies, I would put a stop to that immediately. I would seriously consider removing the players from the team if this parent continues this. You have to take into account what is best for the entire team. It's rare you have to remove players from a team, but there are some occasions when that is best. Those are tough decisions. You just try to help as many kids as possible.

That's all you can do. Both of you gave great advice. The letter was written by the superintendent and she is the only one who signed it. I talked to her today and things were strange. I told her that everything in that letter describes a different coach whom my players have thanked me for not being like. Everything I had to say was truthful. She told me she had to do her job in writing the letter and it is just a little reminder.

Honestly I know which three and that two jumped on board because one started things. Ironically, I have the mother of my captain ready to step in because she has known these parents for years and they always cause problems.

However this parent also hears positive things about me because my captain tells her. After talking to the administration today, I was told that they were investigating me by talking to my girls. In the end it comes down to keep doing what I am doing. I have not lost the position but I feel as if I have. Don Kelbick game some great advice as a coach a few years back The key is to keep the indifferent ones away from the ones that don't like you.

I think the same holds true for coaching. Focus on the fact that the majority of parents do NOT have a problem with and probably even like you. I'm certainly guilty of this. I think you need to constantly remind yourself to analyze the situation objectively.

That's probably a good thing only two want you fired. That means the majority of people want you there. I've had worse situations. Focus on developing good relationships with the ones who don't want you fired. Forget about the others. There are things beyond your control that will make it nearly impossible to influence the ones that don't like you.

It could be that they've had some horrible things happen to them in their lives and they redirect those negative feelings to other parts of their lives. You are right. I should not focus on the negative parents or aspects of the situation.

One parent whom I believed to be involved, showed up to practice and watched the last half hour. She did not have anything to say other than she was glad that the letter wasn't what I thought it was. I mentioned to her that today we worked a little on shooting form With each hand.

She saw me blow the whistle a couple times to show the girls what went wrong with certain drills. This mom picks her daughter up every day She sees me and is not afraid to talk or listen. In the end I do know that the girls themselves are happy and having fun. Although the one mom who started all the drama Her daughter was out of control today and I can't do anything because I'll lose my job. EGO's need to be eliminated. Open communication is the key. Every kid is different and it's the coaches job to find out what makes each kid special and bring all the players together as a unified team.

No reason that almost all kids can't see enough action, if thought out ahead of time. I'm dealing with my sons coach right now. He took their uniforms away, and told them some players may not get one back, tough guy and were told that they cannot use the team locker room anymore because they are not worthy enough. Why, because they lost a game. These are high school kids, how about talking with them intelligently and having a two way discussion.

My question is what responsibility are you going to take for the loss coach? How about we take your pants away. Coach probably read this tactic in some coaching manual he picked up at a garage sale. What can I say or do as a parent that will not jeopardize my kids playing time? Probably nothing! Visit the AD, I'm not sure, could be a relative.

Don't have the answer here because we are dealing with a coach that is unreasonable and has a supporting cast.

I guess I can comment to this website like I'm doing now. Child abuse, is that going too far? I know my kid is starting to hate the game he's been playing since he could walk. One of the best point guards in his high school class in our state. His dreams are slowly being snuffed out. What is the school going to do about it, probably nothing.

A change needs to be made not sure what. This is only a couple of issues I have of many with our current coach. We are right now. A pattern which has been going on for years. You might ask why did we decide to go to this school mistake. Because we liked the idea of helping turn the program around at his home school. This coach is good at telling you what you want to hear!

We fell for it. I'm going to be blunt. That sounds like a crappy situation. The coach probably thinks he's doing the right thing. But these tactics are very old, outdated, and they don't work. I would do some research on the relationships with the administration. They may not approve of that behavior AT ALL.

Any decent administration would take immediate action. Also, I wouldn't complain too much about it with your son. Try to focus on what you can control and that's staying positive and proactive with him. I would try to teach him some life lessons from it. I have read many comments. I starting coaching when my daughter wasn't getting enough playing time she played in a recreational league we paid for registration so it wasn't free. I started coaching after that season even though on records doesn't seem quite great we have won 4 championships in 4 yrs we never won on the first games in all 4 seasons all teams makes play-offs I had players from great players to players that doesn't even know how to dribble the basketball to me is not about winning or losing nobody want to lose when you are building a house you always start from the bottom and up with great solid foundation and then very strong pillars and walls and you have a well structure home.

Started out at youth level, 3rd grade and going into our 2nd Modified season I have kept the same core of players during Summer AAU also. Some problems that I've seen over the years comes mainly from the parents themselves Jeff. This has gotten out of control over the years. Yes I want a full 10 kids at my practice so I can go over both offense and defense and not have me or my assistant having to play because of not enough players.

We have done more than enough over the years. Never let parents watch your team practice if possible. Judging parents are always looking to second guess your decision making. I understand if they don't want to waste gas driving back and forth.

Find another set of parents and carpool. The only parent that should be watching is a nurse or parent with first aid knowledge. If a parent or coach is upset wait 24 hours and calm down before making that telephone call. If not you will have mass confusion at times.

Send them with another team member or friend. They will love it and they start to learn independence. We volunteer our time, don't make us miserable and let us do our jobs. Hasbro Mall Madness Game Electronic. Care Bears 35th anniversary, American Greetings is launching a line of the onesies. April Fools Dough-Nots. Best Toys Overall. Best Toys of Best Toys Big Kids. Best Toys of Big Kids. Best Toys Toddlers v3 image. Best Toys of Toddlers.